Submitted by Enchantrix Empire member, NB:

“This is the chronicle of my recollections of my second encounter with the shemale Brooke. If you haven’t read the previous blog article, I would recommend that first. Also, this contains sexually explicit depictions and thoughts, so reader discretion is advised :-p

It would be a few weeks before I gathered the nerve to call on Brooke again. While my last blog entry focused more on the exhilaration that I experienced after losing my (oral) virginity and becoming a cocksucker, I went through a wide range of emotional states in the aftermath. That most basic question of identity “Am I gay?” which was fairly easy to ignore when I was simply dealing with fantasy was now quite literally staring me in the face after actually going through with it and now actually being a cocksucker. As it was also my very first sexual encounter made it all the more potent and central to my thoughts at the time.

But even apart from that I felt shame and embarrassment mixed in with the desire to do it again. The feelings of shame came as much from the “how” it happened as it did from the fact it happened at all. Not only did I, a heterosexual male, just completely sexually submit to Brooke, but (and this still kind of embarrasses me today, so many years later) I had done it via prostitution — I paid Brooke a not insignificant amount of money for the privilege of sucking her cock. I’d mentioned low-self esteem in previous blog entries, and this was something I was certainly grappling with at the time.

Over the next few weeks, as I wrestled with these feelings and thoughts, I found myself wondering if this was what I really wanted. I ultimately decided that I would see her again, you know just to see if the feelings I originally had were a fluke… Did I really enjoy it, or was I simply confused? I don’t know exactly where my head was, but in retrospect I think that I was in a kind of double-denial. Not only did I think that I really didn’t enjoy it, but that the best way to prove that I didn’t enjoy it was to do it again. I was like the epitome of person Empress Hunter described in her Suck Patrol bio (http://suckpatrol.com/show.phtml?tease=171 ).

This time I arranged to see Brooke after work, and it must have been spring or summer since I remember being dressed in my shirt-and-tie work clothes, and there was still plenty of daylight when I called her from the corner payphone. The apartment number she gave me this time was one down from the one I had used the first time, and after I had gone inside I realized that it must be a railroad style apartment where the rooms are strung along in a line, and there were actually two rooms that had doors connected to the hallway. This room was a little smaller than the first one, more of a rectangle than a square, and since it was a bit narrower, there was only a twin bed pushed against the wall. The wall at the foot of the bed had some mirrored tile on it. There were a few wooden chairs like old school desk chair or kitchen chair style. There was again one door leading onward into the apartment, which was open and I could see a dark hallway and a tiny closet sized bathroom beyond.

Brooke was wearing a tight t-shirt and short shorts, and I am sorry to say I don’t remember any of the small talk that went on, but I gave Brooke the money and she left the room telling me to get undressed. I nervously disrobed, folding my clothes as best I could placing them on a wooden desk chair that was in the room. For whatever reason I was feeling extra nervous and kept my underwear on.

When Brooke returned a few minutes later she was dressed in a black bra and panties and chided me for not being naked and told me to take off my underwear. I apologized (probably blushing) as I quickly complied and my Fruit-of-the-Looms were hastily added to my pile of clothes, and I stood, rapidly becoming fully erect when she smiled.

Sadly, I do not have clear recall over all the social interactions we shared, I think they’d be invaluable for my own self-reflection, but there was definitely some banter, and she touched me. Now the significance of this is not only was I still more or less a virgin with very little in the way of sexual interaction, but I was also not (and still am not really) a very “touchy feely” type of person. The upshot of this is that I typically have a very strong reaction to being touched. So when she placed her hand on my chest it was like an electric current where I shifted from shy hemming and hawing to begging to suck her cock.

I don’t remember her exact words but I believe that she was amused and asked me to clarify what I wanted. I told her I wanted to be on my knees sucking her cock. That is what I wanted more than anything else. So, so much for my theory that I really wasn’t into this, eh? :-p As a somewhat unrelated aside, even to this day I occasionally wonder if I am really into this or if this is something else, I find that actually vocalizing the desire to suck cock reinforces it with extreme clarity.

Now again, I cannot recall the exact words between us, but I do remember that Brooke expressed some dubiousness here. I think that she felt I had so much trouble with the gagging and choking the first time that she was unsure that kneeling and sucking her cock was the best plan. I of course was incredulous then, and even more so in retrospect — I mean, in our first encounter she pretty much blew off the idea of fucking me as she felt my virgin ass would not be able to handle her, and now she was thinking cocksucking was a problem? I mean, I was paying her for this after all, what was she thinking? :-p I imagine she quickly reached the same conclusion I did, as that moment of dubious hesitation was brief. She grabbed a pillow and brought me over to the foot of the bed, where the mirrored tile was. She put the pillow on the floor for my knees and said she wanted me to be able to watch myself suck her cock.

I knelt down on the pillow and pulled down her panties. This time though was not a repeat of that magical moment of my first time where conscious choice was taken from me. This time I got to take a good look at her cock before I started sucking it, and it was my choice, my responsibility for my actions, that led me to open my mouth and take her cock into my mouth and suck.

Naturally, her concerns were all valid, but that couldn’t really be helped :-p Even with a pillow, kneeling on the hardwood floor was uncomfortable and her large cock was a lot for a novice like me to take in, but I like to think I did a reasonable job. I don’t think anyone could question my enthusiasm or zeal with the amount of time I spent choking and gagging, but always going back to keep trying.

After I totally exhausted myself worshiping her glorious cock, she had me lay down on the bed to rest and she started to lick and suck my cock a bit. While I remained excited for a lot of it, I did not maintain erection 100% of the time throughout the encounter, and I blame the choking and gagging for that. Sadly, even though sucking cock is such a central fantasy of mine, I have never enjoyed a blowjob myself… I just don’t respond much to them, and Brooke ultimately finished me off with her hand, and again cleaned me up with a warm washcloth after I came. Both this time and the previous time she did nothing to “catch” my cum so when I came it all landed on my own chest and stomach.

Once I had recovered, I dressed and gave her some extra money as a tip. Now, I have no idea what the etiquette for this sort of thing is, but I am the type of person that feels obligated to give tips in a lot of situations where it is somewhat unclear. Plus it was probably a pathetic attempt to make her like me or something :-p

Thus ends the chronicle of my second encounter with Brooke. A somewhat longer period of time separated the second and third encounters, and I will tell that tale in another blog posting. Naturally, I have thought and reminisced and wondered a lot about these encounters over the years, and I think that I always left these sessions just slightly unfulfilled and wanting something more. I never really could articulate what that was, and I think at the time was one of the reasons why in the immediate days and weeks that followed I was confused as to whether I really enjoyed it or not.

My conclusion after soul searching and constant reminiscence, is that what was missing was cum. Specifically Brooke didn’t cum. I worked very hard on sucking her cock, choking and gagging and doing my damnedest… and I kind of feel like I failed because she didn’t cum. I wasn’t able to fully please her, and I didn’t earn my reward. Hell, in the myriad fantasies and what-ifs I have gone over countless times in my own reverie, I think that after she made me come with her big, soft hands, after she made me just let go and release and cum all over my own chest and stomach… That if she had just run her index finger through it and place a drop on my tongue I would have felt so much more satisfied and content. Not that at the time I had any awareness of this, but that is just how I feel now, after so much time has passed. Frankly even just writing this down stirs up so many feelings and emotions it is kind of crazy.

I’ll end my ramblings here for now, and conclude Brooke’s saga in another post. Thanks in advance for reading, and your feedback!”

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