Mistress Doesn’t Mean Bitch – Submitted by Ms Olivia
This post is inspired by a question from magnus who wants to know if I’m in Femdom mode all the time. He’s asking about My real life relationship and you can read the whole blog post on My blog www.experiencedmistress.com. This experpt is My take on the question as it relates to My online and phone relationship with you. Magnus wants to know: Do You decide when You are “on”?
Mistress Versus “Bitch”
We have all met certain women who are just plain disagreeable. When a female is behaving badly (not in a good ‘bad’ way) she is usually called a bitch. You can see from the previous (and upcoming IM chats) that I am NOT a bitch. I want to make sure that you get the best phone sex call of your life and that means having conversations about exactly what turns you on and what doesn’t. We can have the conversation at the beginning of the call or you can catch Me between calls on IM (if you don’t mind the delays in My response – I don’t IM during a session). Even if you know exactly what you want for the scene, I’ll still ask a couple questions to make sure we’re on the same page.
Being Bitchy is Lousy Customer Service!
BEFORE your session I will be a generous professional. I will work with you to identify your needs and desires. You’ve seen that here (and you’ll see it in the upcoming posts). I know for a fact that just because someone calls for a cuckold fantasy that doesn’t always mean they want to suck cock. Just because someone calls via a profile on sissy school that doesn’t mean they want full feminization or coerced into bi sexual or gay scenes. There are all sorts of ways to do cock control. You get the point.
When I’m the Domme in My phone sex life
I am a strong woman who knows My needs, limits, mind, etc. I manage Myself, My Moods and My career. Therefore I am a professional here and understand the distinction between being a Dominant (or scene Bitch) during a scene versus being a bitch about your customer service questions and issues. I’m the Femdom in a scene …. an expert professional everywhere else.
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i had my share of calls with some of these ( un-professional bitches )a long time ago, they made the call to be all about extending the minutes, without showing any regards to the person paying.
However, i have also engaged in phone calls with mistresses here, i remember the texan ms scarlet and ms grace, all the mistresses here have shown a great deal of ( healthy ) and ( professional ) level of bitchness, and maybe we do over value the word ( bitch ) just like we ( society of biggot men ) over value words like ( stop being a pussy ) or ( that’s very gay ) these words are from an era that is no longer here, and the femmocracy and superior female gender is now as bitchy as ever ( with few bad ones ) the world can be a better place with more superior females like the empress and mistress of this site. well said ms olivia.
Well said, dankoo! I loved how you called it “healthy and professional” bitchiness! ~grinz~ Yep! In a scene, Oh WOW I love to be that Uber Domme Bitch — demanding of a sissy cocksucker! ~laughs~ It gets my superior female going … BIG TIME! And, you slave pet, really bring that out in Mistress … and I also love that we can have real conversations about real issues as well.
Blows you a kiss before saying, “Get the fuck on your knees where you belong bitch boi!”
~snicker~
Ms. Olivia, you are amazing, but I’m going to stick my noob nose in it and respectfully disagree. I think we are similar in our interest in words and the language inherent in our trade, but I feel like you are applying the term of bitch to the traditional gender stereotype that women have to be ‘nice’ or you are a bitch….so many men use that word as a way to put women in their place (just like ‘slut’) even in this day and age. I think ‘bitch’ and ‘Mistress’ are not necessarily the same thing, but in the same vein ‘bitch’ and ‘unprofessional’ are not always the same thing. I, for one, am proud to be a bitch: A strong, uncompromising, unapologetic Mistress who respects myself and my time as well as that of those who communicate with me enough to communicate in a tactful but firm manner.
I think the world would be a better place if we had a few more professional bitches 🙂
I agree with you Princess Chelsea. Submissive males like me are looking to be lead by a strong firm Mistress.
Very interesting!
Although I respectfully disagree on one thing… To me being a “bitch” is not a bad thing. While certainly I will agree that some people (male and female alike) are just plain disagreeable, I don’t use the label “bitch” for that. Why is there a separate term just because one person being an ass is female as opposed to male?
Besides, the term “bitch” while we might agree that is a conventional description, is most always misapplied. It is far more commonly used (at least among men) to refer to women who refuse to conform with male agendas or ideals. That by beating men at our “own game” they necessarily sacrifice some inherent quality of femininity. Cold bitch, heartless bitch, ball-busting bitch… usual ways to describe them talk more about how they either vex men, or have forsaken “proper” female sexuality (“If she doesn’t respond to me, she must be a lesbian, or a frigid bitch!”)
I can only speculate on what the term means when women apply it to one another, although I’d guess it isn’t too dissimilar to guys calling other guys a dick or asshole. But whenever I am watching a TV show or movie with my wife, invariably the characters I like are the ones my wife will say are bitches. In fact, she has often postulated that I must think she’s a bitch, since I apparently “go for” bitches.
But in my view, we are really talking about femme fatales, cougars, users, seducers… However much or little they might kive up to such stereotypes, the commonalities are more likely to be independence, aggressiveness, the willingness to use their feminine wiles as needed, etc.
Now, of course we are talking about “them” on a fantasy level. Certainly many of these characters are “villians” and use their powers for selfish or ill intent in the course of these stories. But that alone doesn’t, IMHO, warrant an extra epithet to single them out.
Ms. Olivia, you started a similar discussion about the word “pervert.” You embraced that one, even though I didn’t (and don’t) really care for it. But if I ever were to call you a bitch, believe me it would be meant as high praise :-p
Although ironically, I suppose the gender context flips the meaning for me quite substantially. I admire a stong woman who is a “bitch,” yet yearn myself to be made a “bitch” under their perfect thumb. :-p
Oh NB … I’m referring to being a bitch in a scene….that’s never a bad thing! But, think about it … if I were always a bitch? nahhhhhh, that’s not so much fun! There’s also a difference between snotty manipulation and a strong woman with firm boundaries. Hint, I am very much the latter! LOL
I think you bring up a very interesting point about the term bitch in language. Sometimes it’s used to refer to a woman who is assertive, has opinions, isn’t submissive, etc. It’s the derogatory use of the term that irks me (and many other strong women).
Words are sort of like porn — I know it when I see it…
I would be very happy for you to call me a bitch…..our context is in agreement.
~smiles~
Well said, Ms. Olivia!