Getting away from the rain and storms coming to the coast, we took a late night flight into Austin.  The lights of a big city are beautiful from the air, sparkling like the holiday is already here, even though it’s only November.  If you know me, you know I’m not a super big fan of Texas, but Austin is one of my favorite cities, because it isn’t like the rest of Texas.  Besides being a music city with a bunch of cool and weird people in it, we can wear cowboy boots and cut off shorts and look amazing while fitting right in.  All in all, it is a cock tease princess’s oasis in the desert of stuffy cowboys.  So, we flew in, slept late at the hotel then got up,  changed into those cutoffs and boots and headed out to look around.  Lucky for us, our hotel was on Sixth Street, a totally awesome mecca of southern fun!

We had every intention of just innocently taking in the sights…No, really, I mean it!  Don’t ask me how we ended up watching this drunk cowboy mooning the crowd at a bar!  It had nothing to do with us!  We were totally innocent…We surely didn’t encourage his humiliation just for our amusement.

So anyway, we were just walking down the street when this guy pulled us into the bar and said that he liked Molly’s hat.  It was one of those straw cowboy hats that she grabbed at the Austin airport gift shop.  It looked adorable on her, I have to say and it got us into this bar for free. The place was packed with a really long bar and a loud jukebox.  I’ll admit I was a little irritated that of all the bars in Austin that we could’ve gotten pulled into, this one didn’t have a live band, but the place was one of those fun Coyote Ugly type bars and who doesn’t love that.  We sat down at a table across from the bar and that’s when the swarm began.

Desperate Cowboys and Bored Cock Teases  

You would think that these guys had never seen two hot chicks before!  There were guys everywhere!  Sure there were some nice looking ones, but those aren’t the ones that Molly and I like to have fun with!  No, we chose a really horny looking cowboy with a really thick Texas drawl.  We thought he was drunk when he ambled over to our table, but nope, he was just trying to be suave and was a talker!  He sat down between us without an invitation.  That called for some type of punishment.

Molly and I exchanged a look and moved our chairs closer to his.  Both of us put a hand on his thigh and leaned over in tandem to give him a double eyeful of cleavage. He ordered another beer, told us he had just broken up with his girlfriend and sang along with Toby Keith on the jukebox. About that time, some chick with big boobs in a tiny top climbed on the bar and began to do a drunken strip tease.  The bar erupted in cheers, some loud “yee haws!” and ear splitting whistles.  The bartender didn’t blink.  He didn’t try to pull the chick off the bar before she could take her top off and shake her tits for the crowd. A few others followed suit, but no guys, they were just cheering and trying to be cool   That gave me a brilliant idea.  I looked at Molly and saw that she was thinking exactly the same thing!

Moons Over Austin

We started telling this cowboy at our table that he was so sexy and that he should really do a dance on the bar and take his shirt off. He resisted at first, saying that was for the ladies and suggesting we get up there.  Of course we agreed, but wanted him to go first!  He smiled a big toothy, stupid grin and stood and headed  to the bar.  Molly started whistling and cat calling as the woman climbed off the bar and the cowboy put a foot on a barstool.  The crowd went wild and not all in a good way, thought the other women did look amused.

He did a few moves and almost fell off the bar, but caught himself and went right back to it.  He began to unbutton his fly as he regained his balance. We stood up to get a better look, wondering what the hell he was doing, before realizing exactly what was about to happen.  He yelled something about this being even better than taking off his shirt!   Bo or Luke or whatever Duke brother he thought he was, waved at the two of us, swung around, shoved his Wranglers to his cowboy boots and bent to moon the crowd.  Everyone booed and roared with laughter, when he moved a little and we all saw just how little he was…a small penis is being generous here.   We laughed, shouting “Teenie Weenie Alert” and left as things started flying.  They’re gonna be mopping beer and tortilla chips up off the floor until morning!  It was a great night.