I love your comments and questions on www.experiencedmistress.com.
I also enjoy when you contact Me via IM. This post is an excerpt of a blog comment posted by chrissy who contacted Me first via IM.
((Thank you all for being understanding that I’m not always able to do the free IM Chats in real time.)) I quickly realized that chrissy’s comments needed more individual attention than I’m able to give in the free IM chats and so I directed her to My blog.
About chrissy
chrissy is a crossdresser who, as you can see, has used crossdressing phone sex for years as a way to experience these feelings as a submissive crossdresser. I want to post her entire comment and then in the coming days, I’ll respond specifically to various aspects of her questions and comments.
I think this fundamental issue that chrissy is addressing will ring true for many of us. It’s how to explore erotic needs, desires and sex fetish issues in a way that is safe and sane. Of course, phone sex itself is an ideal outlet AND she, like many of us, struggles to bring the fantasy more into real life. She puts it this way: “It’s the struggle for integrity, self honesty and functionality in the real world!!” I can relate chrissy and I suspect our readers here on My blog can relate as well!
Dear Empress Olivia,
Recently, i have become aware that i am at a crossroads. i know deep down that i need to integrate my kinks into my life, or to somehow move away from them entirely (which i know is impossible). At present it is a secret i keep, even from partners… and have learnt that through non-disclosure of my kinks i am kind of fucking up the honesty of the relationship. The dynamic of the sex in the relationship is founded on a half-truth…which then sort of leaks out into other areas of the relationship.
i am trying to work out a way of being at peace with it, and living it at an appropriate level in general life. In other words, i want to live my kinks without losing credibility or becoming a walking freak show at the local mall where i buy my panties… If that makes any sense!!
The conflicts i feel are sophisticated and quite deep… its not just a matter of feeling shame, or suffering guilt, or freaking out about duplicity in relationships. It’s a struggle i wage within myself, a real push and pull between major forces which (to simplify) can be broken down to “light” and “dark”, “feminine” and “masculine”, “defiant” and “submissive” etc. i am trying to figure out an equilibrium that works for me.
i have a very full and successful life with a lot of vanilla friends who i love… but i do not want to lay my kink out in front of them. In other words, i do not want my kinks to encroach on my vanilla life, but nor do i want the vanilla to eclipse my kinks… i say this having recently ended a relationship with a beautiful vanilla woman.
It’s the struggle for integrity, self honesty and functionality in the real world!!
And NOW i AM laughing at myself and blushing a rather fetching pink!!
Yours very truly,
chrissy
We’ve got the conversation going on My blog www.experiencedmistress.com What are YOUR thoughts for or about chrissy?
Ms Olivia
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Hi Gigi, thank you so much for taking your time to post a comment! I loved what you said about a time and place where disclosure is appropriate. You said it best, “There’s nothing wrong with privacy.” Amen sister! I agree!
I do seem to get a lot of questions/comments and issues on My blog http://www.experiencedmistress.com about issues of boundaries in life and love. Sometimes it’s because of the way a particular fetish or kink is *wired* (like exhibitionism or public humiliation). But, when it concerns gender identification I’ve seen that there’s more than meets the eyes (literally). There is a real feminine part that DOES ‘need’ to be seen. Then, the conversation begins to take shape and it’s almost like talking with a girl that doesn’t understand why low rise pants aren’t the most appropriate attire to most business meetings. ~laughs~ You know what I mean.
THANK YOU for your comments!
There is nothing wrong with privacy.Why get people upset that will not uunderstand.Why do your lovedones and friends need to know everything about you.The human mind works in mysterious ways.We are our own harshest critics.We doubt ourselves when we should not.Our sexual being is just part of who we are.As long as a person has a healthy, lawful sexual life that is what matters.What you feel about yourself is the most important thing.
I read somewhere once that said that when you pass away if you have one good friend at your funeral consider yourself fortunate.So most people will have friends but how many are really that close.
Life is a gift.Each day should be enjoyed.Accepting yourself is very important.Keeping things to oneself is at times very prudent.