Guided meditations and self help blogs are abundant, and for many people they’re very useful. I just have a personal quibble with most of the resources available for stressed out people seeking to reduce their stress and anxiety through mindfulness practices: they leave out one really huge area of most people’s lives! You’ll get tons of advice on minding your breath, raising your bodily awareness, and putting aside distracting thoughts and intrusive emotions, but can you see where the giant gaping hole is? That’s right, all the advice in the world about how to train your brain and mind leaves out any hint of a mention of your sexuality! There’s a good reason for that, but it still really irks me. Where is the space for erotic mindfulness?

Why do so many meditation and mindfulness sources ignore the erotic?

Erotic Mindfulness with HarperFor the answer, we have to look to our past, and our dearly beloved and not missed at all Puritan forebears, and their dislike for all things ‘bodily pleasure’ related. We’ve got a cultural hangup around talking about sex and pleasure, and that carries over into Westernized expressions of Eastern philosophical traditions, like meditation and mindfulness. Plus there’s that pesky tendency to grab a hold of ascetic Eastern practices and assume they must be better than any middle path, or, worse yet, hedonist path. In the East, in Hinduism, there is an ascetic tradition that involves ignoring the needs of the body to focus on the spiritual needs and growth of the inner self. That Puritan mindset so common in some segments of our population just loves to snap up those ascetic tendencies and use them as if they could lead straight to salvation instead of enlightenment. You know the cultural ideas: masturbation is bad, sex before marriage is a sin, and too much pleasure will lead you to the Devil’s clutches. The erotic pleasure found in our embodied selves is ignore entirely! So I ask you, how can you truly create a full mindfulness practice if you’re ignoring half your lived experience? We need erotic mindfulness to be whole and healthy!

What is erotic mindfulness?

A mindfulness practice is a set of behaviors that a person engages in with the goal of increasing their conscious awareness of their own lived experiences on an ongoing, daily, and minute by minute basis. Mindfulness helps prevent you from becoming dissociated from your own life! So distracted by screens and social media, stress and worries over the future, that you fail to focus on what’s happening right now, right here, to you and in your life! A mindfulness practice allows you to fully experience the present moment in a way that brings a reduction of stress, greater intimacy with your loved ones, and even allows your physical and mental health to improve! Erotic mindfulness is a set of practices that focus intensely on the embodied self, and the bodily sensations you experience just from being alive.

How can you practice this sort of mindfulness meditation?

Oh boy, are you in luck, because it turns out that erotic mindfulness meditation is incredibly easy to do! Where some mindfulness practices ask you to focus on your breath, how it flows in and out, or to do a progressive muscle relaxation exercise, erotic mindfulness simply allows you to expand your awareness to also encompass your genitals, hips, ass, and all the delightful pleasurable sensations your body can provide for you! Where a traditional muscle relaxation exercise focuses on large muscle groups, tensing and relaxing purposefully, and often skips over the muscles of the upper inner thighs, glutes in your ass, and the muscles of the lower abdomen, in erotic practice you would bring your awareness to those areas and focus on how you feel when you tense and release those muscles. In fact, your focus shifts slightly from ‘how do you feel mentally and emotionally’ to ‘how do you feel both mentally and physically’ when you do this exercise.

An even easier erotic mindfulness exercise? Try masturbation while remaining aware in each moment of how your body feels, intensely and deeply. Not just how your dick or pussy feels, but how your entire body feels. How do you feel in your feet, when you’re chasing pleasure? Does your skin become more sensitive? What is your breath doing, and how tense are you while you’re masturbating? If you’d like help with this sort of practice, as a practitioner of Vajrayana Buddhism, I can help you! (Vajrayana is also called Tantra, by the way. Yes, I do in fact know how to make you orgasm while sitting in silent un-moving meditation.)

Ready to start your practice?

Call me, or arrange a series of emailed instructions and guidance! I’d love to help your erotic mindfulness journey really get off to a good start!

Your Tantric Mistress, and Erotic Mindfulness Guru, Harper

Fetish Mistress Harper 800 356 6169






Click to Listen to Ms. Harper


To call Mistress Harper, click HERE.

Visit Ms. Harper’s blog:



For an erotic phone sex session, dial 800-601-6975.
Must be 18+
Calls are $ per minute, with a 10 minute minimum
Discreetly billed to your credit card
Rate Your Call

Check out our new social network, Enchantrix Empire.